Surgery Day

You wake up early in the morning. It is still dark out and your body rebells at having to leave the comfort of your bed. You did not sleep well last night, you were too anxious. You and your husband decide not to have breakfast since you both are really too nervous to eat. You would probably throw up on the drive to the hospital any way. Eating at the hospital will provide a much needed distraction. The awfulness of the food will give you something to talk about besides the surgery.

Waking your child is no easy feat. He too rebells at getting up so early. You all quickly walk out into the morning chill and put all the bags into the car. There is one for him, filled with special toys that you got especially for the surgery. The other one is for you. There is a change of clothing and also things for you to do while you wait. Today there will be a lot of waiting and you know that you will quickly tire of the many things in there. Your mind will be with your child in the operating room.

Traffic is light. You make it in plenty of time and have no trouble finding parking. In the waiting room your child proceeds to charm all the older people there. He is the only child and he milks all the attention that his youth and cuteness gets him. His name is called and you are taken back to a room where they prepare him for the surgery. Height weight and vitals are all taken. The anesthesiologist comes by to ask you if you have any questions. Your child's surgeon comes by to answer any last second questions.

Then you wait. Your child is getting cranky from the lack of sleep and hunger. You are told that the surgery is delayed due to an organ transplant. You try and keep your child entertained grateful that you have a little more time with him before the surgery, but you also would just like to get the whole thing over with. Too soon it is surgery time.

You are all taken to the OR. You wait in a tiny room while they are getting everything set up. Only one parent is allowed back to hold the child during the anesthesia induction. As the mother you claim that right and are given a zip up suit to wear along with a hair net looking hat. Your child starts to get anxious the instant you enter the OR. He remembers it somehow from the previous times that he has been in there. You try and comfort him as best you can while you lay him on the operating table. He cries as the mask is placed on his face but soon he gets sleepy and is limp. The nurses promise to update you and your child's surgeon pats your back telling you that he will do his best to give your child the best outcome possible. As you leave you take one last look, praying that you will get to hold your child again.

Gabe and Zoe are having heart surgery this week. Gabe's is May 15th and Zoe's is May16th. Please take a little time and say a little prayer for both the children and the parents. They need all the strength that they can get in this trying time.

Good Friends

I have some of the nicest friends. This week each one has done something nice for me and I am feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. I am very lucky to have these women in my life and I am going to be very sad when we eventually will have to move from here.

My friend A is also my neighbor. We met through an online local recycling email list. She is super good at finding kids toys and stuff on the cheap. When we were at her house last I noticed that she had a neat infant seat. She saw how much I liked it. I happened to mention how hard it was for me to find the time to get the deals that she does. Later on in the week she called me up and told me about how she had found one of the rockers for five dollars and asked me if I wanted to buy it. Yes!!!!!!

My friend C is a fun and bubbly gal from New Zealand. She is the only one of my friends that is not a mommy yet. She and her hubby are going to be babysitting for me so that my husband and I can go out for my birthday. I have the hardest time deciding on baby sitters.

I work with the teenaged girls in church so in theory I should have a ton of sitters. In practice I hold off because of Evan's health issues. I also hold off because there is one girl that is nuts about kids and obsesses over my kids, but there is no way I feel that she is mature enough to watch my kids. I don't want to hurt her feelings by obviously choosing everyone but her. I used to have a nice girl that would come a few days a week after school but then she got a real job and I have not replaced her.

My friend R's husband is a mentor to my husband, helping him set up a career in the military. They are moving in may, him to icy Alaska to be a commander of a small isolated base and her to tropical Hawaii. The separation will only be a year but I am sure it will be a hard one. They have a beautiful little baby girl that they waited ten long years for. He will be missing out on a lot of stuff.

She came over with her daughter to have a play date with us today. We were discussing kids toys and I mentioned how I was looking for a tummy time mat with a pillow for Harry. He seems to like his tummy more than Evan and prefers it to baby gyms. She said she would give me the tummy time mat that she used for her baby.

Looking back I see that most of the nice things revolve around fun baby toys. I have to admit that I am a huge baby gaget addict. I love getting them toys and things because it is so fun to watch them play with them. It is a habit that can get expensive so any time I can feed it without spending a lot of dough I am thrilled. We are going to a huge yard sale put on by a mother's club so I am totally excited and may not be able to sleep tonight. Hee!!!

Bummer

Well poor C.J. had a bad cold so Evan did not get to have him over to play. I feel so bad for his mom. C.J. Was born a micro preemie and has been struggling ever since. He has lung damage from being on a ventilator when he was first born. Since then he had been in and out of the hospital with issues with his lungs. I have the feeling that he may be heading that way yet again but I hope I am wrong.

It really makes me realize that we have had it so lucky. Evan has been very good about not getting sick and needing hospitalizations. The worst thing that he has been sick with was a nasty tummy bug that he showed symptoms of mere days after getting out of the hospital from his stroke. I know that he picked it up from there. He was very nice and shared with mommy and daddy. Nothing is funner than going to Target to pick up a few things for a puking husband only to have to run to the bathroom yourself. A nice lady held Evan for me while I puked my guts out. It really freaked me out though because the last thing that the Cardiologist told me before we left the hospital was to not let him get dehydrated and here he was a few days later puking up a storm.

We did make a trip to Trader Joes today and some ginger snaps made everyone feel much happier. They make the best cookies there which is why I do not go there that often. I actually only went because my parents are addicted to a type of chocolate that they sell there and only there. How do I know this? My obsessed parents looked around for it. They do not have a Trader Joes anywhere near by. They live in Utah which is a very uncool state. They have to go to Las Vegas to find the nearest store (and they have actually done this).

Whenever a birthday pops up or some gift giving holiday I hook them up with a pile of chocolate. I feel like a drug dealer sometimes. Although thinking about it I am pretty poor for a drug dealer. I should jack up the price or something. hmmm off to think..................

Pretend Friends

I should be in bed but I need to write. I have been pondering lately about the nature of my online friendships and if the fact that the friends that I spend the most time with them makes me pathetic or not. I am a recluse by nature and love my alone time (this has been a bit tricky for me since I got married and had kids) so it is hard for me to keep up on real live friendships. Growing up my friends were friends of convience. I never really keep friends more than a year at a time. I would pick one or two out from my class and hang with them during the school year but once summer came I was a homebody and spent a lot of time reading alone in my room.

Now that I am an adult and summers of reading alone in my room are no more (sigh) my real life friendships are even more spotty and sparse. My online friends however have stuck with me. I have one that I have known for over five years. That boggels my mind. I have never before had a person that I talked to on a regular basis for that long. She has stuck with me through my marriage, several moves and me having kids. Her wisdom has kept me from killing my husband and she has given me many tips on raising kids. She is a great older mentor to a young crazy mother.

I have other women on my buddy lists that also have helped me through tough times. Often these conversations happen late at night when the kids are in bed and we should be also. But it is soo nice to be talking with another adult that you keep typing away. I could never do that with a real live friend because the people I hang with go to bed early like sane people. In fact as I started typing this paragraph one of my good friends came on and it is 1 am where she is. I think that I will not let myself feel silly for having friends that I have not met. They are real people and hopefully some day I will get a chance to meet these great people face to face.

A sad, sad thing

Yesterday my excitement was going to my friend's apartment and helping her clean it because she was moving out. It is kind of sad that I jump at the chance to help someone clean just so I can get some conversation with another adult that is not my husband. That is part of the fun of being a stay at home mother. I love it!