Saturday, August 05, 2006
Hi! My name is Evan and I am looking for a new mommy. Mine is horribly mean to me. She does awful things to my brother and I. Today she put sunscreen on me. She says that it is to help protect me from the sun and skin cancer but I think she just enjoys putting the cold stinky stuff on me to be mean. She also does horrible things like give me breakfast and telling me no.
My mommy is also horrible to my innocent baby brother Harry. She dresses the poor guy in clothing despite the fact that he would much rather crawl around in the nude. She also makes him stay on his back while he is getting his diaper changed. I think he should be allowed to squirm off free and breezy if he wants to.
I am looking for a pushover mom. One that will read my mind and know what every whine I make means. She will feed me chocolate ice cream for every meal. She will not make me take a nap ever. I want a mother that will pretty much let me do whatever I want to. All applicants can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org