Thursday, March 02, 2006

It is starting

Evan is having a heart catheterization next Friday. His cardiologist wants to get a good look at his heart before he has his surgery. This is the first big step to surgery so I am starting to get nervous, very nervous. I try to seem casual about this but deep inside I want to wave my mommy wand and just make him better with out having him having to endure all the pain that surgery entails.

Even his recovery this time around will not ease my worries. I had thought he was home free when he got released after a week in the hospital during his last surgery. I was ever so wrong because a week later he had his stroke. I still can't go into the room in my husband's parent's house where it happened.

Luckily my beautiful little boy keeps me too busy and happy to worry about him too much. It really is had to feel sad for him when he takes the life that has been given to him with such grace. He has such a forgiving nature. I have had to do things to him that no parent should have to do to a child and yet after the tears are gone he still loves me. He even loves his doctors and is not afraid of them. He is such an example to me. I just hope that I can be as good of an example to him as he is to me.


chichimama said...

HUgs. Good luck, you are so strong, and my thoughts are with you and your family.

Nicole said...

God bless you. I nearly couldn't take it when my daughter had surgery on her eyes, so I can't imagine how it must be for you. Your little boy sounds like a special kid who, on some level, understands what his mommy is doing for him.

Zephra said...

I once heard someone say that kids with illnesses and disabilities are more special in Gods eyes than anyone else. I believe that. You have a special little boy and you much be special yourself for God to have entrusted him to you.

Gina said...

Oh, I am sending all the positive thoughts and prayers I can in your Northerly direction.

It must be so hard to stay strong in the face of such things, and I admire you greatly.

Evan sounds like a wonderful little man. And is so cute!