Bleh

I have been feeling very stressed out lately. I have been really trying to pack too much into my day and it shows. I hate feeling rushed and needing to be somewhere or doing something all day. I need to have down time and so do the kids. Yesterday at physical therapy Evan was very grumpy and was wanting to just run around because much of Tuesday he was in the car with me while I was running errands.

One thing I know that I will be cutting out is the Spouse's Association. I can't take it any more. The reason there was no one there on Tuesday was because I came early. My stressed out mind made me go at the wrong time. I hardly go to any of the activities that they put on because they are generally on base and that is a long drive to do things that I can do here in my own town. I only went because I felt I should. I could do a whole post on how some women think that they play an important role in how their husband does in making rank. I was sort of subliminally buying into that but now I have just decided that it is not worth the effort since it doesn't really matter any way. My husband is doing just fine without me.

I am not too sure what else I can cut out of my life. One thing that would free up a ton of time is not going to physical therapy for Evan but that is not exactly something I can do and still feel like I am a decent mother. He has a gimpy arm and really needs the therapy badly if he has any chance at regaining any use of it.

What I really have been wanting to do all week is go shopping. I want to buy myself a few dressy tops for church. I only have two and one is long sleeved so it is getting too hot to wear now. I hate that the majority of my wardrobe is tshirts and jeans. I am also toying around with the idea of getting shorts for the summer but I hate showing off my horribly white legs. Shorts would also mean that I have to shave on a semi regular basis. I may just get long skirts which will cover the casper legs and still be cooler than wearing pants. I just haven't had the time I need to even go looking. These are things that I can't just pick up at Target. It will require a heavy duty all day search, possibly several days of heavy duty shopping. I think that I may possibly do this shopping when we go on our vacation in June. I will have more of a selection and I will have babysitters so I can actually try things on.

I guess the whole point of this post is that I need a vacation. Bad! Of course it will not be as exciting as I had planned since just last week my mother fell off her bike and cracked her pelvis and her left elbow. The next day my sister E was running on wet grass slipped and snapped her ankle. Sadly those two are the main people that I leave the kids with when I am there visiting. They should be more mobile when we arrive but they both had to take sick leave and vacation time for this, so they will not have as much free time when we come. The main thing that is important is that they have both promised that they can watch the kids for our fifth anniversary celebration. My husband and I will be leaving the kids for a few days and having a romantic getaway. Where? I am still trying to figure that one out but we will be getting out come hell or high water. I think I am going to include a massage for me and some pampering.