Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The joys of motherhood

Evan's head is looking not so bad right now but I know once the bruise sets it will look terrible. I can see the darkness already lurking under his goose egg. He is going to look wicked fierce in the pictures I take for Thanksgiving and Harry's birthday.

Being a mother is an often thankless job filled with disgusting tasks. Some days however you have happy fun days. They are like sunshine breaking through dark clouds. Generally my dark days seem to be when the kids are in a developmental rut. Day after day I deal with the same thing and then suddenly they decide to change, to grow, to blossom.

One thing that has been preying on my mind a bit is if I am maybe smothering Evan just a tad bit too much. I feel that sometimes I am just a bit too quick to jump in and help him when he is trying something new and unfamiliar. I don't let him get out there and try new things on his own. Last week I got a chance to see him shine. The playgrounds in my are are rather unfriendly to kids with physical limitations (I am planning on possibly bringing that to the attention of the City government since it is a shame that all kids can't enjoy the play grounds). I was with a friend in another city and it had all the right ingredients for Evan. I got to see him climb up some steps, sit at the top of a slide and slide down all by himself. I almost cried. It was so hard for me to just sit back and let him play, I was so used to having to help him that it almost is second nature. Seeing him do that makes me wonder how much more he can do if he is given the chance.

Harry is starting to walk more and more. Seeing his huge smile as he totters around is so infectious. He is so pleased with himself when he gets it. It is priceless seeing him rush to my arms and giggling when I give him a big hug. He is also starting to actually listen to me. He is awful about standing in the bath tub. Every change he gets he wants to stand up. Tonight I told him to sit down and he actually sat back down. Of course he soon tried to stand back up but sat back down when I told him to. Harry also is learning things from Evan. Evan will pick up toys and Harry will then take a few and put them in a bin. They soon end up being taken back out, but it is a start.

Sometimes it is so easy to forget that there are two sets of little ears listening to your every word. I haven't taught Evan any naughty words (yet) but I did teach him some good ones. Every time he does something that I ask him to do I will praise him and say thank you. Tonight at dinner my husband gave him something that he wanted and Evan actually said thank you. I didn't want to do the whole prompt the kid to say thank you, so it was gratifying that he would get it and say the words on his own in the proper context.

It is just so wonderful when you have days like this. This is the priceless part of being a mother. It almost makes up for the endless hours of whining that I have to endure.

Here is another thing that Evan picked up by observation alone. I was trying to keep him busy while I was sweeping and my husband was getting dinner onto the table. On a bit of a lark I handed Evan the dust pan. He promptly started picking up the leaves from the floor and putting them into the dust pan and then putting them into the trash can. Never mind that it would have been faster for him to just put them directly into the trash, this was the grown up way of doing things.

6 comments:

Her Bad Mother said...

About the bruises, etc... WonderBaby is constantly marked up, the product of constant tumbles and bonks. Husband says that she looks like an extra from Baby Fight Club. It used to really bother me - clearly, I 'm a bad mother, to have a banged up baby. But I try to tell myself that they are the marks of a event-filled life... it's a start...

Tracy said...

It is hard to just let our kids do things themselves and discover things on their own, isn't it?

I love the little verse ...
"There are two things you give your children: one is roots; the other is wings."

And also ....
"We hold our children's hands for a while, their hearts forever."

Gina said...

I did the same thing with Mr. P, hovering a bit too much. But I think for you it is just a natural reaction from having a child with health problems, so don't beat yourself up too badly about it.

CHEL said...

It's hard to watch our kids grow up and do things that we used to need to help them with. It's a mother's instinct to want them to need us forever. Good for you sitting back and watching your baby explore, grow and learn!!

GoofyJ said...

Sorry I've been out of the loop this last week. :) I didn't comment on everything, but I did read and catch up. :) All of my kids are constantly covered in bruises, I decided that it is a sign that they are living life and having lots of fun, rather than sitting in front of the tv all the time, etc. He'll be fine and most likely won't ever remember. It is great to see the kids picking up on the good things you do and teach. SO rewarding. :) I wonder sometimes if I hover more over Jacob than I did the other kids, I think it's normal especially with a little one who has been through so much. We've worked really hard at letting him learn a bit of independance and don't jump and run at every little thing, it's still hard sometimes though.

chelle said...

I have to really try hard not to jump in on Becca at the park. Before she had her glasses she would fall very roughly and get hurt all the time. Now she is finding her footing and it is so hard not to "help" her!