Monday, July 31, 2006

Selfish

I just finished reading Parenting By Proxy by Dr Laura Schlessinger. I think the main thing that I took away from the book is that there is such a tendency in our current society to be incredibly selfish. People enter into a marriage with the expectation that it will only last until they find something better. They have kids as accessories, not a single thought is spared for anyone else.

A good example of that is this woman. She seems to be proud of the fact that she is barely involved in her children's lives. I am not saying that you should give over every part of yourself over to your children when they are born. A parent has to have a life outside of the kids but there is a fine line there. In order for you to be the biggest influence in your child's life you have to be there and available for your child. You have to show an interest in them and what they are doing.

I will admit that a newborn is super boring. All they do is eat sleep and poop. This early time is a crucial time however. It is the time when they learn to trust you. They learn that when they have a need you are there to take care of it. As the child grows and develops they become more interesting and start reflecting the things that you are teaching them back to you.

I don't find play groups mundane or boring. I enjoy teaching my sons new things. I love taking them to places that they have not been to before. I love seeing the look of awe on Evan's face when I show him something new and exciting. I am looking forward to being involved in his school work. Through him I will get to see things as I used to see them.

I guess the biggest difference between me and that woman is that I am not thinking how my children can entertain me. I don't think of my self when I am actively engaged with my children. I am thinking of them. Through my interactions with them I am slowly learning a Christ-like love, a love that is not selfish, a love that is pure.

6 comments:

Amber said...

Well put! She is missing the entire point of Motherhood!

chelle said...

That woman is totally different than any mother I have ever experienced. Her children...what do they think, how will they feel when they grow up? Or worse read that article?

I totally agree with you...why have children if you do not want to spend time with them?

I love spending time with my daughter...and yes there are times I get bored or annoyed, however I still try!

GoofyJ said...

I could tangent forever but I'll spare you. It made me sad that she would feel that way. Balance is so important. I love to do things with my kids and we have so much fun. I also love to do adult things without my kids and I have a lot of fun too. Boring? Definitely not, life would be boring without them. The selfishness amazes me. Anyway, I enjoyed your positive post. And, great new layout by the way! :)

Gina said...

Honestly, not everyone is called to be a parent, and some people should perhaps realize that they are one of them.

happy mommy said...

Good comments. I must be weird, newborn stage is my favorite part of motherhood!! I love the snuggles and the nursing and the wonderful bubble of happiness that surrounds a new baby. I don't even mind getting up in the middle of the night....yep, weirdo!

p.s. I like your blog's new look!

fancypantsnancy said...

Thank goodness a Grandma's role is not at all controversial-It's easy! Just SPOIL, SPOIL,SPOIL!