Thursday, October 18, 2007

Family

My mom encouraged me to write this post. She has a blog too but no one else reads it and she wants the internets to know what a jerk my Grandfather and my Uncle are. They did not give my sister a wedding gift and yet the night before the wedding spent three hundred dollars each on new shoes. She wanted a me to burn them with words and howl in indignation.

Honestly I could not muster up more than a bit of sympathy for my sister for being cheated out of a much needed household item. You see both my Uncle and my Grandfather are essentially strangers to me. Before the wedding I had not seen my Uncle in over 15 years (maybe longer since I can't remember the last time I did see him) and my Grandfather in 10 years. Even when they were in my life they were never really in my life.

It sucks that things are the way they are. I would love to have a much closer extended family. It would be nice for my kids to have a closer relationship with a great grandparent, like they can on my husband's side of the family, but they made choices that destroyed that. They chose to value things of the world over family. My Uncle made his priorities clear when he stated, in my presence, that he feels that if you are married and have three kids before you are 30 you have ruined your life. I guess because I am only 28 and have a mere two kids I should consider my life not quite ruined just yet.

I guess it is easy when you don't believe in any sort of life after death to try and make the most of this life, but even then I feel that they have lived rather empty lives. My grandfather will leave behind some kids (some of whom managed to have happy marriages despite his example) who will possibly miss him a tiny bit but my Uncle will not leave behind much at all except some debt and a large house that he hardly uses. They have lived such hollow lives.

It was strange meeting them again after so long. I felt so different because I was now an adult. I could see them with different eyes. I am no longer an adoring grandchild. I don't have to fear the harsh words spoken in annoyance because I was being a child and that annoyed them. I am a confident woman who pities them. My kids will know me. My grandchildren will be spoiled by me. My family will know who I am and will not regard me as a stranger. I hope that my loving example will be passed on through the generations like the examples of my parents, who are shaping how I raise the boys even now.

7 comments:

Nanette said...

It is very sad when people don't realize what is important in this life. But, I guess to them, it is material possessions.

Zephra said...

I wonder who your uncle will turn to when he is very old and needs family support to make it through daily life. Too bad he is burning bridges now.

Gina said...

I think you have the right attitude toward this situation. Sucky relatives suck, though, I know.

The New Parent said...

Hi AM--it is unfortunate that they have their prorities askew. Somewhere they never learned what was important.

Lainey-Paney said...

that is very sad about them....

Amber said...

Amazing the different perspect age gives you! Agreed with Gina: you do have the right attitude!

maw said...

The traditon to spoil your grandkids is the most important. I will do my best to show you how this is done, before I die!

P.S. We got low cholesterols from your grandfather and they can't take that away from us!