A dirty story

The lovely Karen at Pediscribe is doing a fun contest which involves dirty stories. Here is my entry for the contest.

Evan had just been released from the hospital after a long three week stay after he had his stroke. He had been in so long because it was tricky getting his blood thinning medications to the levels. In the end he was put on an injectable one called Lovenox. With Lovenox I had to take him in for weekly blood draws to make sure that the does was still correct.

I took him in for his first blood draw only a few days after his release. It was going to be done at a local hospital where Evan's cardiologist had been assured that he would be well looked over and they would be able to run the needed test. Evan had thrown up his first feeding of the morning ( I believe it was pear babyfood) but I had not given that a second though as at that time Evan was quite the puker. We bundled up and got in the car to head off to the hospital for the blood draw. I wanted to be there soon after the lab opened so that we would not have to wait.

On the way to the hospital Evan threw up again. This was a bit more worrisome to me as there was no apparent reason for him to be throwing up. He then puked on me again as we were walking from the parking lot to the hospital. I handed the receptionist the orders for the test and then proceeded to wait. While we were waiting Evan threw up again, and then he threw up again a little while later. I was wearing him in my sling so I was able to use the tail of it to help clean me and him up a bit, but eventually I was pretty covered in puke while we waited what seemed like an eternity for a blood draw. Why we had to wait so long was very unclear to me because for most of the wait we were the only ones in the waiting room.

We were finally called back where a very hesitant phlebotomist waited for us. He felt around for veins (which was a pretty iffy thing any way since Evan was so fresh out of the hospital) and even told me that he wished that he was drawing me instead of Evan. He made several half hearted attempts all the while Evan was still making his occasional pukes on me. The volume had gone down since his stomach was empty by now, but it was yellow due to the fact that he was throwing up bile.

Eventually pretty much every phlebotomist in the hospital (or so it seemed) had had a go at Evan's veins with no success. The guy called up Evan's cardiologist to see what the plan of action should be. He obsessed over the phone to the cardiologist about Evan throwing up and the very troubling fact (to him) that it was yellow. I lied and told him that Evan had a visit with his pediatrician already scheduled so he could stop worrying (I did get an appointment later that day). Evan's cardiologist ended up calling one of the noenatologists at the hospital and he came down and did an arterial draw getting blood the first time.

By the time I got home from what was supposed to be a quick blood draw I was exhausted from having to hold Evan down for all the attempts at drawing blood and I was covered in puke, Evan was covered in puke and the poor sling was covered in puke. My husband was home that day so I gladly handed him the gross baby and went right into the bathroom for a nice long shower.

The puking thing was a result of a stomach virus picked up at the hospital (which made it extra nasty than ones you pick up at other places) and Evan gladly shared his germs with the whole family. My husband threw up in his car on the way home from work the next day. I took Evan (who was feeling a lot better) with me to Target to pick up some sick supplies for my husband and ended up throwing up in the bathroom there. A kind lady came up to me as I was heaving my guts out and asked if she could do anything for me. I blindly shoved a crying Evan into her hands while I kept on puking. She could have kidnapped him and I would not have even been able to describe her to police, it was that bad.

Oh and did I mention that this was days before Christmas? Well it was. We were all excited that Evan got out of the hospital in time for his first Christmas and we had planned on flying to Utah to spend it with my family. That trip was canceled but my family was nice enough to come out to see us instead.