Thursday, September 13, 2007

Loner?

Generally I am a loner. I would rather spend my time at home with the kids or pass my evenings at home with my husband quietly. I have, at times, pondered the life of a hermit with a bit of envy. My lonely hut would have to have internet though for it to be perfect.

I was discussing the future today with one of my mom friends. The word has spread about our possible upcoming move next summer. Our ward is loosing people left and right so everyone gets interested when the topic of moving comes up. One of the possible assignments that my husband is kind of thinking about, maybe, would involve him being gone for six months at a time (but he would be home for the other six). When I talked about it here eyes got wide and she wondered if I could rent an apartment near family while my husband was gone so that I would have family near by to help with the kids.

Honestly that thought had never crossed my mind. I had pondered the possibility of having a housekeeper coming in to help out and even a regular babysitter but never spending half of the year in one place and half in another. I think that is the loner in me speaking. And yet it really is not lonely to consider staying where we are put waiting for my husband to come back from his assignment. We will have the military family around us to help out when needed. We will also have our ward family to help out and to worship with.

One of the reasons I will miss this area so much is that my ward really feels like a family. They have been there with us for so many things. Even after Evan's surgeries are over the other mothers in my ward are who I spend the majority of my social time with. When I left the park after spending some time with my friends I felt so uplifted and refreshed. Despite my loner tendencies the mother in me craves the friendship of other mothers and a sense of community.

I think that one of the biggest changes that has happened in me since becoming a mother is my need to connect with other parents. I need to know that my crazy kids are not the only weirdos out there. We need to be able to commiserate someone about some stage or behavior. That is one of the biggest reasons that I keep blogging and keep reading other blogs. It is nice to know I am not the weirdest mom out there, right?

11 comments:

Guinevere Meadow said...

Our church is a second family to us. We've considered moving to another part of the country for better weather, but we just couldn't bear the idea of leaving our "family." I totally know how you feel!

chichimama said...

My sister is finding the moving every so many years the hardest part of being a military wife. It sounds like their move next year will bring them close to my mom at least.

Good luck, I hope everything works out OK. My sister chose the stay put while he traveled route for a while and it worked out OK for her with a housekeeper to help out a few days a week...

Zephra said...

It is nice to know that no matter how weird you feel, there is always someone even weirder right around the corner.

I go into hermit stages from time to time. I think that is when I feel i am really needing a break from life.

Nanette said...

Ha! That is exactly the reason I blog! But sometimes it is ok to embrace the weirdness.

Jenifer said...

Definitely not the weirdest!!

I know what you mean though, I could never imagine living in 2 places....not to mention the upheaval that would be for the kids!

I think with my laptop and a plasma TV.... I could EASILY become a hermit!

fancypantsnancy said...

Ummmm, You ARE the weirdest mother!

Gina said...

Even "loners" need to talk to people sometimes!

I hope you can choose the right path for you and your family.

chelle said...

ok at first I was like 6 MONTHS! Then I started thinking about it. 6 Months with my husband home would be AWESOME. With a little help with house work and a babysitter on occasion I think it would be doable. Especially since you have a community around you. Plus blogging! You kids are the perfect age for it :)

Ami said...

That sounds like a hard separation. But isn't it good you have the independence that such a separation doesn't scare you?

Also for you previous post: I love dreams like that.

Overwhelmed! said...

Wow, 6 months, that's a long time but it'll go by quicker than you think. My husband and I were separated twice during our dating...once for a 6 month contract job that he had in another state and once for a year contract job that I had. It wasn't easy but we did what we had to do and survived it.

I'm not normally a loner but I do find myself craving the company of other moms more than I thought I would. It's nice to have others that totally understand the challenges and the joys of raising children. :)

Damselfly said...

You can't possibly be the weirdest! ;) A move is a big thing. I'm sure you'll decide on the right thing to do for you and your family if that happens.