Thursday, June 29, 2006

Time travel

In this post we are taking a trip down memory lane.

I was pregnant with Harry so I was a hormonal mess. The first anniversary of Evan's stroke was fast approaching and I was very worried about his continued lack of progress with his left hand. I was feeling worried about Evan's delay in talking as well. Needless to say I was a wreck and questioning every little thing I was doing, worried that I was some how ruining Evan's chances at a "normal" life.

The big reason that I was so obsessed with Evan's lack of progress with his hand and the approach of the first anniversary of his stroke was that I felt that time was running out. When Evan was in the hospital for the stroke the Neurologist had assured me that it would only take a year for all the effects of the stroke to be invisible. All it would take was physical therapy. The silly thing was that I actually believed him, so when things were not progressing I blamed myself for not pushing Evan harder.

To add to this stress I had visited a friend a few days earlier. Her son is also in physical therapy and the appointment started while we were there. I saw the therapist eying Evan and told her about his stroke. She then did an impromptu evaluation and started telling me about electrical stimulation therapy. She told me all the wonders it did for children like Evan and how I could be selling his future short by not trying it. I was not sure that I wanted to try something like that with Evan but her tone was such that I would be a bad mother if I didn't try it.

In the midst of this turmoil Evan had an appointment with his pediatrician for a well child check up. I ended up pouring my guts out to the pediatrician, expressing all my worries. My fear that some how I would ruin Evan. My feeling of being overwhelmed with the new baby and my having a lot on my plate with Evan. Dr. D was amazing. He managed to calm me down and ease my fears. He helped me feel like I was a competent caregiver again.

I have to say that I have been very lucky in my choice of pediatrician. I picked him out from a list that my OB gave me. I didn't interview him or anything but I sure managed to pick a winner.


chichimama said...

It is so important to like your pediatrician. I lucked out twice.

You have been through so much, and you are doing such a great job!

millicent said...

did you do the therapy?
just curious!

Awesome Mom said...

No I didn't. I am not sure if he could actually do it because the therapy has the potential to interfere with his pacemaker. Even if he could have done it I am nto sure I would have since it just didn't feel right to me.